“Happy
girls are the prettiest”, is something Aubrey Hepburn once said. I’ve seen this
quote numerous times over the years. On posters, on t-shirts, on the Facebook
pages of girls who have shared it. And each time I felt a pang of sadness and
self-consciousness while reading it.
What does
this quote really say? When I read it, I see more than one thing. I see “Be
happy because you’ll be prettier.” I see “People who are unhappy are not
pretty." I see “Depression is unattractive.”
Mental
illness is not a stranger to me. Depression has dragged me under its heavy wing
for months on end over the last 8 years. I have felt the pain of feeling like
there is no way to escape your tortured mind. I have been smothered by that
feeling night after night. Over the years, I’ve watched friends close to me
struggle with depression. My beautiful friends, who have fought through so many
things, and stand with bravery and strength, are some of the prettiest people
I’ve seen.
As a
teenager, when I first saw this quote, I thought to myself “Oh, but no matter
how hard I try to be happy, it doesn’t work, so I guess I’ll never be one of
those pretty girls.” It breaks my heart
to think of any teenagers thinking this way right now. Depression is a monster.
Depression doesn’t give you a CHOICE to be happy. When the chemicals in your
brain are off, it is not your fault, and it certainly doesn’t make you ugly. Some
of the most beautiful people I know are those who have known more pain than one
person should endure, and are still standing tall. Some of the most beautiful
people I know are those who fight the same demons every single day that leave
them feeling exhausted and powerless, and wake up in the morning ready to fight
them again.
So if you are one of those care-free, happy people, that's amazing, and you're beautiful. And if you're fighting a deep battle with depression and can't escape the darkness but still show your face to the world every day, you're beautiful, and you're a fighter with a story to tell. Just because you're fighting a battle that others may not understand, it doesn't take away from your beauty.
So if you are one of those care-free, happy people, that's amazing, and you're beautiful. And if you're fighting a deep battle with depression and can't escape the darkness but still show your face to the world every day, you're beautiful, and you're a fighter with a story to tell. Just because you're fighting a battle that others may not understand, it doesn't take away from your beauty.
I prefer this quote by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
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