If you're reading this, maybe the title struck a chord with you. Maybe you're stuck in this gray area of "undiagnosis". And you're probably completely fed up- and you're right to be. Now before I dive in, I'll tell you that you may not share the same view on this as me, and that's okay. All I can do is hope this reaches someone at a time when they need it.
My personal story is long and I won't go into too much detail, but after 3 and a half long years of searching for answers for my debilitating illness, the search is looking like it may be coming to an end. I recently found out I have a medication-induced movement disorder and endometriosis, and the relief that comes with answers is inexplicable. You feel validated. You feel like doctors understand your pain. You can look back on all those times you thought maybe it was just in your head and know that it's real. And the feeling of having no answers is the complete opposite. You feel unheard. You feel like no one believes you, and worst of all, you feel like you don't believe yourself. While I was undiagnosed I read many stories of people all around the world who went undiagnosed for years who finally got their answers. I never thought I would be one of them. I definitely felt like I was doomed and that I was going to be sentenced to a life with a body that had gone haywire for no reason. And then, out of nowhere, after one of the worst weeks of my life, answers came by complete fluke. An unfortunate series of events led to what felt like a miracle.
I'll share a few things that my friends told me that helped me through diagnosis "limbo":
1- Trust the universe. The universe has a funny way of working things out when you least expect it. I have a great friend who always reminded me of this throughout all of the turmoil that came with being undiagnosed. When you least expect it, maybe someone will walk into your life who will connect you to someone else who will be the answer to everything. Or maybe one of your millions of tests will finally be the one to reveal something. Gabrielle Bernstein, a motivational speaker, once said, "The universe is always working on our behalf, but not always on our time." And that leads me to my next point.
2- Good things come to those who wait. Being patient is probably one of the hardest parts of being undiagnosed. Prior to getting answers, I saw a quote by Aristotle that read “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”. I don't know about you, but for me a good quote can really put things in perspective. Now this whole "patience" thing is way easier said than done. I know that. But you should be proud of yourself, because enduring all this waiting while you don't know why your body is failing you is excruciating. Being patient is excruciating. But hang in there, because answers WILL come.
3- Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't choose this. No matter what the cause is, this is not something that you wanted for your life. You are not to blame for any of this. An illness is to blame, even if it doesn't yet have a name. Trust your body, and if you feel that something is wrong, be your own advocate without hesitation.
Michelle
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